


Don't drink the water from the sea!

by Turntech-carcino (Themortalhalfbloodgames)



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: I just dont know where, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, it fits somewhere in thes series, personal headcanons in here, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-04-13 02:54:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4504956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Themortalhalfbloodgames/pseuds/Turntech-carcino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave isn't know for being a romantic. Karkat doesn't mind but Dave wants to do something for him just to show the troll how much he really loves him. The beach sounds like a good idea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A plan indeed

**Author's Note:**

> For all of those readers who kept on reading my other fic even tho I disappeared a few weeks. Ya'll are awesome.

Dave honestly hated television. He hated these stupid channels on the human-troll network. All the troll programs were weird fucked up versions of things he used to watch and all the human programms seemed to be the shittiest shows that were ever made. It's like someone had held a contest to find the worst programs in the history of television and then decided to make the winners the available programs for the human side of the network. Fucking unbelievable. Just plain old shitty programs.  
For example, Dave was currently watching a rerun of the X-files. The fucking X-files. What human in their right mind had decided that they needed to air a program of a shitty series that focused on proving the existence of aliens? I mean, they shared a planet with a fucking race of aliens. What kind of ironic twist was this? It's not even ironic in a good way.  
Goddamn, Dave hated television. There was no one in this new planet that hated television more than him. Well, except Karkat. He was never one to back down on screaming his discomfort to the cable companies. Always saying that they were shitstains for choosing to air tv shows like my little hoofbeast instead of Pail & the City. Although that was also a shitty program if Dave was being honest, but the troll had a point. 

Speaking of said troll, Karkat had just busted, yes _busted_ , through the door, dragging his back pack behind him. He threw his keys into the jar they had next to the door labeled “keys” (how clever). He looked tired and irritated. Then again he always looked irritated after school.  
Karkat had decided to apply for college about a year ago. At first everything had been fine, he was a fast learner and since his studies mostly focused around literature, Karkat had thought he had it in the bag.  
Boy had he been wrong.  
Finals had started and with that, a massive pile of essays and projects had been handed to him. Dave didn’t sweat it, he was an art major and he accepted that his passion for the arts was worth the trouble of nearly drowning in school work. But Karkat thought otherwise. Not one day passed without him bitching about some class, some professor or how his classmates were “complete and utter shitheads, they must have had their brains stuffed up their waste chute the entire year!” Dave didn’t mind to hear him rant and groan about his classes. He was just happy Karkat had finally decided to join the world of a college student. The fucker had even managed to get into a good university. All complete with dorms (which he didn’t need because their apartment was fairly close to the university), football fields and so many extra curricular activities which Dave attended naturally (even though he wasn't a student at that University).

 

“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Have I also said fuck? No? Ok, FUCK.” Karkat threw his backpack across the room, successfully knocking down some weird ugly vase Terezi had made in a pottery class and gave them as a gift. Karkat groaned when it smashed on the floor but didn’t make a move to go clean it up. 

“Oh well. It was hideous anyway.” Karkat said as he sighed in discontent. Dave knew the troll felt bad about breaking Terezi’s gift though. His face looked a little sad as he stared at the broken pieces.  
Dave decided to clean the tiny wreckage himself so he got off the couch and walked over to the vase. He crouched down and picked the bigger pieces of the thing off the floor and placed them in his palm, being careful not to cut himself with the sharp edges.

“Dave. Dave you don’t need to pick that up. I dropped it, it’s only fair that I pick it up.” Karkat murmured but still didn’t seem to want to get up and do it.

“It’s cool. I can be the clean freak today.” Dave said as he looked over his shoulder and gave Karkat a small smile. The troll just nodded and let out another sigh. 

As Dave collected the shards of the shattered uh, _art piece_ , Karkat clicked through the channels of the television occasionally letting a grunt out or two but other than that, he didn’t voice his usual hate towards cable programs. Huh. He must be really bummed out.  
Dave took the broken shards and tossed them into the garbage can. He rinsed his hands in the kitchen sink to get rid of the dust and then proceeded to walkover to the fridge to find some sweet nectar and to get Karkat his pick-me-up drink. Cherry coke.

“Hey babe, gimme some room” He said as he walked over to the couch and settled himself next to Karkat. The troll just sighed, once again, and proceeded to crawl onto Dave’s lap. “Okay… Make yourself at home, I guess.” He said with a chuckle as he handed the troll his can of soda. Dave pulled the plastic wrapper that contained the straw off of his juice box and stuck it through the tiny hole labeled **Straw here!**. Well no shit, juice box. I thought it went somewhere else.

“Dave. Dave I love you. Dave where did you get this, I thought we were all out.” Karkat said as he sipped his can of cherry coke. 

“I have my ways, Karbaby. I know what my main man needs.” He said as he tipped his glasses and winked, earning himself a roll of the eyes from Karkat who settled himself against Dave’s chest and continued to click through the channels.

“Dave. I am tired and I hate human slash troll school. Can I drop out already?” He turned his face up to get a look at Dave under his chin. 

“Well hey, I told you I could manage us fine with my savings. But you’re the one who insisted. If you wanna drop out, it’s up to you bro.” Dave shrugged with indifference but was actually a little let down. He wanted Karkat to find his passion in something. He didn't want him to quit as soon as things started to get a little hectic. He knew Karkat had it in him to get through this, the troll just needed a break. 

"Gee thanks, Dave. I'm glad I can count on your support for these things." Karkat looked back at the tv.

"Well hey babe, to be honest, I don't think you should drop out just because you can't handle human parts of school. Or maybe you should, seeing that it's so difficult for you..." Dave knew this was going to get a rise out of Karkat.

"Difficult? Human school is not _difficult_. Your shitty education system lacks structure and therefore I cannot bring myself to even bare the thought of completing the assigned works. But fuck me, because it's part of all this beautiful learning process stupidly named college so I have no choice but to fucking finish all the lousy work!" He huffed and chugged down the cherry coke. Dave wanted to laugh but he was sure he would get another wave of rants and he just wasn't up to that today.

"So... You're not dropping out? Is that what you're telling me?" Dave made a loud noise as he sucked the last drops of juice out of his box making Karkats ears twitch in irritation.

"No, I'm not dropping out I'm just saying that- would you cut that out?!" He swatted the hand that Dave was using to hold his juice box making the blonde snicker.

"Stop what? I wasn't doing anything." He smirked at the troll who had turned once again to glare at him. 

Karkat kept glaring at him for a few more seconds before clicking his tongue in annoyance and falling back on Dave's chest with enough force to make Dave let out an "omf" of pain.

"Geez, next time let me know when you're going to drop the Karkat bomb on my chest, maybe I'll be able to prevent some damage”

"You're fine, stop being a baby"

"I don't know dude. You might have fractured a rib or two. Shit is going crazy inside of my body. Some serious internal bleeding and punctured organs. Call an ambulance I might still make it. I can see a light Karkat, it's so close I- ow. Okay, okay. No need to get violent with me." He snickered making Karkat elbow him in the ribs.

"Geez, so aggressive." He said as he wrapped his arms around the trolls waist and buried his face in his neck. He closed his eyes and inhaled that peculiar Karkat smell which consisted in something sweet faintly resembling the nubby trolls favorite drink. Dave had yet to understand what made an alien species smell like a soda that had once been specifically created on earth. Did other trolls smell like cherry coke or was it just Karkat? Dave wasn't about to go around smelling all his troll friends, he wasn't TZ. But these were some questions that kept him up at night. Yeah, Dave wasn't really into all that "mysteries of the universe" crap that plagued some peoples mind, he was more of a "why is orange called orange?" Or "are grub flakes really made out of grubs?" type of guy. Dave Strider, asking the _real_ questions.  
As he kept rambling in his head, Dave felt Karkat suddenly relax and plop his head back against Dave's chest and releasing a content sigh. Dave looked up to see if he had settled on the redrom channel but was surprised to see it was on that weird channel where they only have that lounge music and different nature-type scenery all day every day.  
Dave lifted an eyebrow but otherwise didn't comment, he would just let the troll enjoy watching the uh, beach.  
Of course that only lasted about ten seconds before his curiosity won him over.

"Karkat, care to explain why the hell we're watching this dumb channel? Is it some ironic joke I don't get?"

"Why does every single thing have to be an ironic joke to you? Not everything in this life has to be done for ironic purposes." At this, Dave gave the biggest exaggerated gasp.

"Karkles! How dare you!" He put a hand on his chest and feigned offense.

"God, you're such a moronic douche." Dave knew that Karkat had rolled his eyes even though he couldn't see his face, a fact that was starting to annoy him. 

"Ok but seriously, why do you always switch to this channel? I mean, it's pretty boring. All it does is put me to sleep."

"I like this channel. Does one need to have a list of reasons of why the like a specific channel? No and by that, I have no reason whatsoever to like this channel other than it being of my personal liking." Karkat ranted though Dave knew him well enough to know that this rant was a cover up. He really _did_ have a reason to like this channel and Dave wanted to know why.

"Karkat. Karkat shut up and stop pretending," he lifted the troll from his lap and in one quick movement he turned the troll so he was now facing him. He grabbed a control that was tucked in between the cushions on the couch and clicked a button that dimmed the lights in the house. He then pushed his shades on top of his head and looked Karkat in the eyes, "Now please, lie to me. I dare you motherfucker. No, no. I _double_ dare you." He said in a serious tone though this could be taken in an all but a serious way.

"So when I quote a movie, I'm a massive dork but if you do it, it's supposed to be hilarious." Karkat rolled his eyes but placed his hands on Dave's shoulder for support.

"I quote badass movies. You quote cheesy romcoms and that is just plain ol' stupid. Now are you going to continue to _try_ to distract me or are you going to tell me why you like that stupid channel so much?" Dave looked at Karkats eyes steadily. His lime green eye and his cherry red eye. Dave remembered when Karkat worried about the moment he would have his "growth spurt" and his blood would finally be visible to all. Funny enough how his mutation worked; for some reason, Karkat developed some sort of heterochromia, making his eyes two different colors or well, sort of. See, his lime green iris still had flecks of red in them and vice versa with his other iris. It was just part of his mutation but Dave thought it made him even more special, _different_. This of course made Karkat even _more_ worried, he always wanted to be normal but what the heck was normal anyway? Even though Dave tried to ease him into accepting his special attributes he went into an extensive rant as soon as the green specks started to acquire a more intense color, talking about how his lime blood heritage was a bad thing, how his blood brothers were hunted until they literally went extinct and all these other horrible things that made Dave want to go punch some high bloods.

"Daaaaave. Were you even listening to me? I told you I was going to tell you the truth!" Karkat frowned at Dave who quickly snapped out of his thoughts.

"So my eye-staring intimidation plan worked?" Dave said as he gave Karkat a wink to which the troll responded with a scof.

"Fuck no, don't be such a dim witted wriggler. I decided to tell you because you were looking at me like a wounded bark beast and I took pity on you." Karkat said with a smirk.

"I did not look like a beast whatever and you can't prove the contrary so control your witty little remark and get on with it." Dave said as he bumped his forehead against Karkats.

"Fine fine... Well it has to do with Alternia," oh great, Dave's favorite topic, "Don't give me that face, I know you hate the place but have a little cultural respect for my place of hatching." Dave rolled his eyes but didn't press on the matter. "So as I was saying, it all started when I was just a grub. Crab dad had gone out to hunt and I was left in the care of the best grub caretaker in the world: television." He smiled, his eyes looked cloudy like if he was remembering, which he probably was. "The only problem was that i still didn't exactly understand the functions of the remote control device. So naturally I pressed buttons and bit on the device till by some way, I ended up on that channel," he gestured to the televising behind him with his fingers, "I won't lie to you, I was really fucking amazed at the sight. I had never seen a beach before or heard the sound of the mine beasts.* I watched it for some time, mesmerized by the view," his shoulders relaxed and he closed his eyes for a few seconds. When he opened them, he smiled and continued, "Later that day, crab dad told me that the image I was so fascinated with was the beach. I remember I asked him if I could ever go to the beach but he started screeching and snapping about it being only a place for those of higher blood to see... So that is why I, Karkat Vantas am obsessed with that channel." He crossed his arms.  
Dave could see a pink tint color his cheeks. Why was he embarrassed? You found that adorable. He liked the ocean and that channel reminded him of it! Why was that so wrong?

"So that's what you were so embarrassed to tell me? That you like the channel because it reminds you of the ocean?" Dave raised an eyebrow at him.

"Ugh, no you blubbering nook fucker! I like the channel because it's the closest I have ever been to the _actual_ ocean!" He let his head fall against your shoulder and you could see the pink reach the tips of his ears.

Karkat had never been to the beach? Holy fuck, that poor sweet nubby troll had never seen the beach because in his home planet he wasn't allowed to go! No fucking way this could stay like this. You were going to take your shoutty boy friend to the beach even if you had to drive hours to take him to the nearest beach. This was your life mission, this was your goal, your finish line, your- wait.

This actually wasn't a bad idea. 

"So you've never seen the ocean... That could be arranged." He said as he started thinking out a plan.

"No, it cannot. I don't have time to go to the beach and I don't care about it. I was just a wiggler. I could care less about this shitty planet's water areas." He huffed and let himself drop to the side of the couch, leaving his legs on Dave's lap as he stretched to the other half of the couch.

"Okay, fine forget my plan lets just watch this shitty movie." He said with a sigh but he was actually crafting a plan. A plan he decided he would put in motion as soon as Karkat fell asleep.

"It's not a shitty movie! Your thinkpan is just too small to actually enjoy the quality of true romance." He muttered.

"Whatever you say, babe. But you know I romance you good." 

"Fuck that, you haven't done one single romantic thing for me since my wriggling, I mean _birthday_." He scowled at Dave but then went back to watching the movie.

Dave had no retort for that because it was technically true. Dave wasn't one for all that romantic bullshit that Karkat loved so much. Dave's idea of romance was this; watching movies with the guy he loved instead of playing mass effect or something like that on his play station. He sacrificed his game time for a movie about a girl who couldn't seem to remember his fiancé. Ugh.  
He started dozing off, his eyes started closing and since he wasn't really interested in the plot of the movie, he let them fully close.  
But then the sound of a car crash came from the movie. Dave's eyes flew open from the sound and he noticed that they had reached the part where the girl loses her memory which also happened to be the part that made Karkat cry. Dave looked over at his boyfriend who had pulled his legs under him and rested his chin on his knees, arms wrapped around his legs. His eyes were pooling with pink liquid and his lips were pressed together. Dave sighed but opened his arms out towards the troll. Karkat quickly crawled over to him and settled on Dave's lap and snuggled into his chest but his eyes never came off the movie. The blond shook his head and gave him a small peck on the top of his head.  
And the movie continued. Karkat would cry I moments and Dave would rub his arms or play with his hair in order to make him stop crying. Towards the end of the movie, Dave made a move to lift himself off the couch, but Karkat clinged onto him.

"Where are you going?" His voice sounded hurt and that made Dave's heart clench. He offered the troll a smile.

"I'm gonna make us something to eat, baby. Do you think you can watch the end of the movie by yourself? It's a relatively happy ending." Karkat looked at him with big eyes and a pouted lip but nodded anyway.  
Goddamn, it made Dave want to kiss him till the end of his days but they needed to eat... Or did they? Yes, yes they did.

He gathered the troll in his arms and stood up with him. Karkat didn't seem to mind being handled like a toddler today. Usually he would scream and kick till Dave set him down but he was so engrossed with the movie that he didn't even move. The blond turned to set him back on the couch. He kissed his forehead and Karkat reached up and patted his cheek without moving his eyes from the movie.  
Dave rolled his eyes. He walked to the kitchen and pulled the fridge door open, making the inside clatter as the jars and cans shook. They seemed to still have some leftover pasta and Thai food, some plastic containers labeled with different names, all of them with precooked food Karkat had made for Dave for the days the troll would come back either too late or too tired to cook anything. Needless to say, Dave worshiped his boyfriends cooking and since Dave couldn't cook for shit, Karkat had developed a system where he would make a ton of food on the weekends, freeze it up and label it for Dave. It was perfect. His boyfriend was perfect and he would never change him for the world... Ok, this was starting to turn too cheesy for his taste.  
Dave pulled out the take-out boxes and stuffed them into the microwave. No way was he going to share his spaghetti and meatballs or his ribs, not even if he was going to share it with the person who cooked them. No fucking way, fuck preschool and their endless lectures on sharing. Dave Strider did not share.

When the microwave beeped, he pulled out the containers and took out two plates from the cabinets. He dumped the contents of the containers on the plate and pulled two forks out of a drawer.  
He picked up both plates and walked back to his boyfriend who looked like he had just finished crying.

"So did you like the ending?" He asked the troll as he handed him a plate. Dave sat down next to him and placed his own plate on his lap.

"It was alright I guess. Bad boys is coming on next, I figured you wanted to watch it." Karkat put his plate on the table before he got up. He walked to the kitchen and pulled some napkins out as well as two cans of soda.

"Fuck yes, I love that movie. Besides, you like it too." He said to Karkat as the troll sat back down and handed him the beverage.

"I guess it's alright." He shrugged as he picked his plate up from the coffee table in front of him and scooped some pasta with his fork.

"Mhm, sure. Don't act so indifferent towards it. I know you get your panties in a twist for every movie Will Smith acts in." Dave teased.

"That is not true! I just happen to like his acting, that's all. And before I continue eating this nightmare of a meal you humans call "fast food," would you mind telling me why you didn't heat up some of the food I cooked up? Did you not like it or something?" Karkat looked a bit offended and hurt. But Dave didn't want to tell him the truth about him being a selfish bastard and not wanting to share.

"Because I happened to be in the mood for Thai and pasta." He said in a casual tone, being careful not to sound suspicious. He had pulled his shades back on so Karkat couldn't see his eyes and notice his lie. He remained expressionless and there was no way the troll would know he was lying.

"Oh really? That's nice. Now why don't you tell me the real reason you lying piece of shit?" Karkat said as he gave him a stare that clearly said "I so totally know you."

"Fuck. How do you even do that? Fine okay, I didn't want to share. I don't like sharing and I especially don't like sharing your food even if it's with you." Dave filled his mouth with a forkful of Thai food he didn't even recognize buying. He waited for Karkat to shout at him about being a selfish little shit but nothing came. He turned to see his boyfriend staring at him with his mouth open.

"What? What did I do, do I have something on my face?" Dave looked at him confused as the troll just shook his head.

"Unbelievable. You are such a little grub when it comes to these things. Didn't they ever teach you to share? God, I'm living with a little wriggler!" He laughed and Dave smiled widely. He didn't always get to hear the sound of Karkats laughter. 

"I'm sorry. Actually no, I am not. Fuck sharing, it's my food cooked especially for me and I shouldn't have to share with anyone." 

"That's ridiculous! I cooked that meal you lousy excuse for a boyfriend! I should get to eat some of my own cooking!" He stuffed his mouth with pasta and frowned.

"Yeah that's another thing. How come you know how to cook human food so well? Do you cook troll food as good or even better because ya know, it's your native dishes? Who taught you how to make human meals? Or have you always known? Is Alternian food nasty or is it good?-"

"Dave. Dave please shut your fucking windpipe for a second. Are you done playing 20 questions?" Dave nodded and gave him a shy smile, "good. Well if you must know, I learned when I was living by myself. I figured I'd try to learn the culinary from this planet. Yes, I've always been a good cook, low bloods usually are because we were mostly servants or cooks. Alternian dishes consist of meals high on proteins and fiber so you might like them. Different trolls consumed different types of meals depending on their hemospectrum. We usually ate small beasts because it was easier to come by, on rare occasions we might even have fish. Higher bloods would eat hoof beast meat because they would get the best meats that were around." He chewed his food as he recalled life on his planet and then spoke up again, "Fish was my favorite. Crab dad usually brought some for saint perigees." He smiled at the memory and continued eating.

After that, they talked about less important things but Dave kept in mind the plan about taking Karkat to the beach. 

They finished eating and Karkat took their dishes to the kitchen to wash. Dave cleaned up the table and threw the cans away. He clicked the television off as Karkat walked back into the living room. He announced he was going to take a bath. Dave nodded and waited till he heard the shower turn on. He then slipped his phone out of his pocket and dialed a number. It rung three times before someone picked up.

"Hello?" A perky voice with an accent answered the call.

"Yo Jake."

"Dave? Long time no see! I mean, hear! What can I do for you ol' chap? Need to talk to Dirk? He's actually in the shower-"

"No, no. Not Dirk. I actually needed to ask you for a favor."

"Alrighty, shoot!"

"Do ya still own that jeep?" 

"Of course I do! You need to borrow it? Are you going to do some exploring, Dave?"

"No, not exploring, just making a plan... I was also wondering if you might have a fishing rod? It's part of the plan." Fuck if Jake didn't have any, his plan was going to flop.

"I might have a rod or two. I'll have to check. Dave, it sounds like you might be going on an adventure!" Jakes voice sounded even more perky if that was even possible...

"Yeah, it's sort of an adventure..." 

"Well I might be able to help you with that! Strider, you mind helping me find my old rods? Your little brother needs them..." He called away from the phone. Dave frowned when he was called "little brother." He wasn't even that younger than Dirk.

"Alrighty, Dave! It seems we've managed to rustle up all the things you need! Would you like us to take the jeep to you or..." Someone in the back, Dirk obviously, said "No!", making Dave roll his eyes.

"Don't worry, Jake. I'll go get it around... 11pm? But I'm gonna have to leave my baby with ya." Dave told him. His "baby" was the motorcycle he had bought after his first successful gigs as a DJ. A red beauty.

"Oh, okay Dave! I'll see to it the she stays safe and sound, don't you worry!" 

"Yeah, I trust _you_ Jake. It's my bro I don't trust. I'll see you in a few." And he clicked off the phone. Now all he needed to do was wait for Karkat to fall asleep, which by the way he was dragging his feet as he exited the bathroom, didn't seem like it was going to take long.

_____________________________________________________________________

He had just gotten back from Dirk and Jakes house when he remembered that the closest beach was two hours away from where they lived. Great.  
He signed as he walked up towards the building they lived in, tossing the keys to Jake's jeep up and down.  
Now what was he going to do? This was supposed to be a surprise! How the hell does he keep this a secret if he had no excuse for driving two hours to somewhere Karkat wouldn't even recognize? Man, this plan was screwed. Screwed as much as the screws to the Eiffel Tower. 

He walked slowly towards the elevators trying to come up with a reason as to why he would need to take them on a two hour journey. As he pressed the button to call the elevator he remembered that Sollux and Aradia lived around two hours from here. Maybe he could tell Karkat that Sollux had wanted them to visit. Yeah, he was going to go with that.

The elevator dinged as it open and Dave walked in with a smile. He punched in the code that would take him to their house. Last floor, fucking penthouse because Dave mother fucking Strider was not going to settles for less. That and he had collected enough boonbucks in that insane game session to last him a lifetime, even with all his heavy spending. That was the only good thing he got out of that stupid game. Oh, and meeting Karkat. But he was going to leave that in the past. No reason in dwelling on it.

When the elevator dinged again they opened up and he walked out into the hallway that lead to their apartment. Penthouse? Floor? Whatever, point is, the last floor was theirs. He stuck his house key into the door and after pushing the key around, he managed to get the door open. He tossed his keys into the jar and kicked off his ratty converse. He shuffled into the living room and turned all the lights off. He headed towards the room he shared with Karkat, pulling off his shirt as he pushed the door open.

Karkat was splayed across the bed like a fucking starfish. This troll had no sense of space. He rolled his eyes at the scene. He noticed that Karkat was also wearing the little crab boxers Dave had gotten him for his birthday last year and Dave smiled a it.  
He shucked his pants off and then sighed as he looked at the troll on his bed. He walked over to him and shuffled him around until he was on the right side of the bed. Karkat didn't even notice. The dude slept like the fucking dead. Dave then pulled the covers and slipped into the bed, next to Karkat. As soon as Dave laid down, Karkat moved to his side and curled up. Dave smiled at him and kissed the top of his head. The first time that this happened Dave swore Karkat had woken up. He later found out that the troll was simply attracted to the heat that radiated from his body.  
Dave plucked his shades off and set them on his nightstand. He closed his eyes and mentally fist bumped himself for coming up with a great idea.


	2. I told you about the sun, bro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plan "make Karkat have the best date ever" is now in action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long uploading this guys. I was filling out some prompts that I owed people. I finally finished the chapter but I changed and added some other things so I hope you like it!

Dave wakes up the next day extremely early.   
_Too early. Oh my god so fucking early why the hell am I awake at this hour?_ he thinks to himself as he sits up. He slowly rubs shoulder and stretches his arms till his joints pop. He looks over to the sleeping figure that’s tucked into his side. Karkat has successfully pushed him to the edge of the bed and claimed Dave’s pillow as his own. He just shakes his head at this. He always manages to reduce his sleeping space to a little corner and after he’s done, he proceeds to bury himself in Dave's side. Not that Dave minded any of this. He was actually content with the troll seeking him out so much when he was sleeping.

“Dave? Dave what are you doing?” said troll mumbled as he rubbed his eyes and tucked his face deeper in Dave’s side.

“Waking up at unholy hours, don’t mind me.” He said as he combed, or well, _tried_ to comb through the trolls dark locks. “I think I’m just gonna go have breakfast babe, wanna join me?”

“No, fuck you. I unlike you, don’t have a fucked up thinkpan that wakes me up at unnatural hours” and to make his point clear, he dug himself under Dave’s pillows without another word.

Dave chuckled at this and laid a kiss to the top of the trolls forehead which was peeking out of the pillow fortress. This was actually a good moment to get everything prepared for later in the afternoon so he hauled his ass out of bed and went outside to start gathering supplies.

He got up slowly so he wouldn’t shake the mattress and wake Karkat up. If he did, the troll would start with his bitching and moaning about Dave not having any sense of respect over a troll's sleeping schedule and bla bla bla. Dave wasn’t in the mood for this. He needed to collect his shit fast.

Before he walked out of their shared room he slipped on a t-shirt he found laying around the room. Ok it wasn’t any old t-shirt. It was Karkat’s. And yes, he was only slipping it on because he liked to piss his boyfriend off. God he was such a jerk.  
He walked out of their room and into the kitchen to pack all the things they needed for the small trip; canned sodas, cookies, doritos obviously and some random troll snacks Karkat kept around the house. He spent most of the morning gathering things up and uploading them into the jeep. He had called Jake around 11am to ask him how exactly one caught fish with those weird rods to which the kind boy explained to him while his asshole bro laughed at him through the speaker. 

“Yeah okay I think I got it, English. Uh, thanks for your help.” He told him as he set the rod down after fumbling with it for so long.

“Ah no worries, mate! It’s always a pleasure to help out!” His cheery voice said through the phone

“You wanna help me out and get some pleasure in return?” Dirk’s voice sounded from far.

“Fucking gross man. Sorry Jake but if my brother is gonna start with his bullshit I’m going to have to hang up now.”

“Fucking finally.” Dirk said from afar.

“Oh shut it, Strider. Alright then Dave if you need anything else you can call me back”

“Preferably not, we’re gonna be busy if you know what I mean” Dirk’s voice said.

“Ugh. Ok I’m leaving now” Dave said as he hung up the phone. 

“Who were you on the phone with?” Karkat said as he walked out of the hall and towards him. He bumped his horn against Dave’s chest and circled his waist with his arms.

“My bro and Jake. Just calling to check in.” He lied as he wrapped his own arms around the trolls waist. “You still sleepy?” 

“Not really. Just tense I suppose.” He let go of Dave and walked to the fridge, “What do you want to eat today? I think we’ve got some pasta left from the other day..”

“No. We aren’t eating here today.” _Here we go he thought_ to himself, _Plan deceive Karkat and making him fucking swoon is now in action_

“Well why the fuck not?” Karkat said as he stretched his arms over his head. Dave’s baggy red sweater rose up a little revealing the trolls grey thighs. Those great thick thighs that could kill one Dave Strider. Just look at them, so fucking smooth and ready to be caressed. They were asking for it. Asking for Dave to go and touch them. Dave was a compliant kind of guy so he was going to give in and… Ok, hold up. Where were we?

“Uh…”

“Nice explanation nook whiffer. Now care to use your words and give me a real reason?”

“Sorry but I just go caught up in the spell of your beautiful thighs and lost my train of thought for a moment. Fucking train went off it’s tracks so damn hard, it made an explosion. We just couldn’t save the passengers. They were all doomed once those pretty thighs showed up on this road.” 

“Goddamit the things that spill out of your protein chute are fucking unbelievable” Karkat rolled his eyes but Dave could see red dust his cheeks. Fuck yeah, he was one smooth mother fucker.

“Ok but being serious, we can’t eat here today because Sollux invited us over for lunch and I already said we'd go. So come on, go get dressed 'cause we're kinda late." He turned Karkat toward the direction of their room and smacked his ass before sending him off to get dressed. Karkat grumbled but otherwise didn't fight about it. 

"It might be a good idea if you get dressed to. I don't think Sollux would appreciate it if you arrived in red briefs and a small shirt that obviously isn't yours." He called from the room. 

"Well shit, maybe I want people to see my plush rump in these red briefs. Haven't you thought of it?" Dave chuckled as he walked into the room to find something suitable to wear. As he entered, Karkat threw him a pair of pants and a grey t-shirt before entering the bathroom.

"Fuck no to that idea. Besides, that's for my eyes only." He smirked as he shut the door.

Dave did not blush at this. Nope. He was totally not flustered.

 

________________________________________________________________________

 

"Did you not like the pants I gave you?" Karkat said as he clipped his seatbelt on.

"What?" 

"The pants. You changed them. You're wearing shorts." He said as he looked over at Dave.

"Yeah so? You're wearing a normal tee and I'm not questioning your decisions" he backed up the car and got out of the driveway trying to ignore Karkats question.

"Alright, fuck. Sorry for asking I'm just not used to you wearing these type of clothes." He muttered as he looked out of the window.

"Yeah well, I like to mix it up once in a while" 

"Humph." Great work Dave. You mange to get him angry.

After a few minutes of silence Dave decided to turn on the car radio. He didn't like silence. It made him anxious.

"Why are we going this way? Didn't you have to take route 23 to go to Sollux's?" Goddamit. Of all the days Karkat could choose to notice Dave’s driving it had to be today. 

“It’s easier this way. Less traffic.” He deadpanned.

“Really? Since when? I thought you said there wasn’t an easier way to get on-”  
“Geez man! I’m not gonna kidnap you or _troll-nap_ so can you quit nagging me?” 

“I was not nagging you, I was just asking why you were taking a different road. You don’t have to act like a little wriggler.” He huffed and looked out of the window again.

Fuck that was a close one. He had to be more careful or this whole plan was going down the drain. 

Luckily for Dave, the silence seemed to lull Karkat to sleep and when he got on road towards the beach, the troll had fallen asleep.

 

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Dave always complained about Karkat being a heavy sleeper but he was actually glad about it today. When they arrived at the beach the place was mostly deserted; a couple seemed to be walking far away and a family was gathered at one of those picnic tables the beach had around the place for tourists.   
Dave unloaded the things from the jeep and tried to set everything up before he went to wake Karkat. 

“Hey, Kat. We’re here.” He nudged the troll but got no response. “Karkat, come on bro we’re here. You need to get down.” Nothing. “Ok, fine have it your way.” He unbuckled the seatbelt and scooped the troll into his arms.

“Hey what the fuck festering bucket of waste! Put me do— Uh. W-where are we?” He murmured as he took in his surroundings.

“Well you said you were stressed and needed a break. So I thought, what better place to relax but the beach?” He slowly set down the troll on his feet as he gave him a shy smile.

“Oh. So this is… The ocean?” He took a step forward like if he was afraid of getting to close to the sand.

“Yeah babe. Come on.” He held out his hand for Karkat to take.

“What? Where do you want to go?”

“To the shore obviously”

“N-no! We can’t get close there might be high-” He snapped his mouth as he realized his words. There were no highbloods living in the ocean, not on this planet.   
“It’s ok babe. I know. But forget about that shit, we’re here to have fun. Come on.” He took Karkat’s hand and pulled him towards the ocean. He walked them to the shore and kicked off his shoes.

“Dave wait. I didn’t bring clothes to go into the ocean. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. Maybe we should come back some other day.” Karkat took a few steps back only to be pulled forward again by Dave.

“No way Karkat. We’re here and this shit is gonna happen. So kick off your ratty converse and follow me.” He tugged at the troll's hand once more.

“Shit no wait! Ok, I’ll indulge in your stupid idea of fun,’ He kick his shoes off and carefully walked towards the shore., “Agh shit this is fucking freezing!”

“Aw don’t be such a baby. It get better as you go in!” Dave decided to pull his shirt off along with his shades so they wouldn’t get wet. He tucked his shades into his shirt, bunched it up into a ball shape and threw it towards his shoes.

“Fine but I’m not taking my fucking shirt off!” Karkat said as he hugged his torso and slowly soaked his feet into the salty water.

“Whatever, I packed some more clothes. Come on, just throw yourself in!” Dave said as he demonstrated by throwing himself into the sea.

“Ugh fuck you stupid excuse for a matesprit! I’m _not_ going to throw myself into the ocean. I could step on a rock or something. These things need to be done carefully and not for the heck of it.”

“Oh shut up! You sound like Kankri.”

“I do _not_ sound like the annoying piece of shit the world decided to present to me as my ancestor. Fuck him.” 

“Fine, then get in you huge cluck beast.”

“I am _not_ a cluck beast.”

“Cluuuuck beast. Clu-clu-cluck beast!” Dave called out as he folded his arms to make chicken wings and splashed him simultaneously.

“Alright shitsponge, let’s see who you call a cluckbeast after I drown you!” He dove into the sea and swam towards Dave.

“Ok fine I have the advantage since I can swi— fuck!” Karkat got a hold of his arm and pulled him under the ocean. They fussed around for a minute or two till Dave had to come out for water. he took in deeps breaths trying to make up for the loss of air his lungs had suffered under the water.  
Karkat didn’t come up though. Dave sunk back and tried to see if he was okay only to have the troll give him a peck on the nose. They both resurfaced and Karkat started to laugh.

“What the hell man? I thought you fucking drowned down there!” Dave said as he cleaned his eyes from the salty water.

“I don’t need to come up for water, asshole.” He said as he rolled his eyes. 

“Well why the fuck not? You some kind of mermaid?”

“Mermaid? What the fuck is that? You know what, never mind. The reason is because of my mutation.” He said as he looked to the side.

“Well what the heck does that mean? Does your mutation do something to your skin or…”

“No, don’t be an idiot. It has nothing to do with my skin. My body just… It’s better if I show you.” He held Dave’s hand and pulled them both under the ocean. After a few seconds, Karkat placed Dave’s hand on his neck. At first he couldn’t feel anything but when Karkat opened his mouth, some strange flaps opened up on his neck. Dave’s eyes grew wide and he pushed against the sand at the bottom so he could resurface once again.

“So there. Once again I have proven to be a complete freak. My blood keeps on proving I am a mistake by adding qualities to my body that aren’t even supposed to be on a low blood like me. I am goddamn mistake and now you truly understand the depth of my problem” 

“Are ya done? Is the pity party over? Great because I’d just like to take this wonderful moment of doom and gloom to say I think you’re the most amazing living being I’ve ever met. My boyfriend is a mermaid. I have an alien mermaid boyfriend” He swam over to Karkat and pulled him in into a bone crushing hug. He really was amazed at all the things Karkat was. He was unique and goddamn special. Holy shit this was getting too sappy.

“Ugh OK OK, fine! Just let go of me you fucking cactus face. You’re crushing my lungs!” He pushed away and Dave let go of him after giving him a noisy kiss.

“Cactus face. That’s new. I didn’t even know you knew what a cactus was.” He chuckled as he pulled the troll farther into the ocean.

“Yes, I do know about your planets vegetation, Dave. I happen to know a lot of— HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THAT, SOMETHING IS TOUCHING ME.” Karkat splashed about and clinged onto Dave’s neck as he wrapped his legs around his torso. It was like he was climbing a palm tree. Fucking classic.

“Hey babe, you tryin’ to climb me already? Mr.Vantas, what a dirty— OH GODDAMN.” Dave kicked off the bottom of the sea and moved back towards the shore as Karkat gripped his neck tighter.

“What in the mind numbing fuck was that?” He asked as he looked over Dave’s shoulder.

“Fish dude. Now quit actin’ like a scaredy Karkat and put your feet down. We’re at the shallow part again. Fish don’t usually come over here.” He pried Karkat’s arms from around his neck but left his legs wrapped around his torso. He smirked at Karkat and wrapped his own arms around the trolls waist. “Maybe we should go back to the deeper part. I bet no one can see anything we do over there” He wiggled his eyebrows at Karkat who glared at him and smacked him on his shoulder.

“Don’t be an asshole. I’m not going back there ever again. Now let go of me you dickmuncher.” He unwrapped his legs from Dave’s torso but stayed close to him otherwise.

They spent some more time in the ocean till. Dave kept going out to apply sunscreen as the troll dived and brought back different colored shells. They got out around three when Dave announced it was time to catch their lunch.

“ _Catch_ our lunch? How the hell are we supposed to do that, do I look like Eridan’s fucking lusus to you? I can’t catch fish.” He crossed his arms as he walked out of the beach. 

“Ugh trolls. Always thinking of savage ways to kill prey. Typical” Karkat punched his shoulder lightly and stuck his tongue out. “Luckily us humans have come up with a better way to catch our food. Guess you aren’t the superior race after all, huh?” He gathered his things from the floor and walked back to the spot where he had tossed their things when they arrived.

“Don’t forget who made you in the first place.” Karkat mumbled as he searched the bag with clothing. He pulled out a sleeveless black t-shirt, examined it and threw it at Dave.

“What the hell man? That’s yours!” Dave said as he tossed the shirt back to the troll. Karkat ignored the shirt hanging from where it caught on his horn and pulled out another shirt. This one was white with a tiny pocket. He shrugged, pulled his own wet shirt off and slipped on the dry one. He folded the short sleeves till it reached his shoulder area and let out a satisfied noise. Before he folded the wet t-shirt though, he lifted his collar up to his nose and nuzzled it.

“What.. I don’t get your weird trolly possessiveness over my things. Hand me the shirt back.” he said as he smeared more sunscreen on. Karkat looked at him quizzically before tossing him his shirt back. Dave pulled the black shirt on and huffed. Even though Karkat was now a good 5’8 he was still towering over the troll at a 6’3 so the shirt was a tad too short on him. 

“See what happens when you don’t use your own clothing items? You create problems, Karkat. And you know what problems lead to? Chaos. Chaos and destruction. Because of your desire to fulfill your selfish needs you are going to destroy the world. Good job, babe.” Karkat turned to him, walked towards Dave slowly and looked him up and down. 

“I don’t see a problem at all, quite the contrary.” He ran the tip of his fingers against the sliver of skin showing where the shirt didn’t actually cover his abdomen. Dave shivered and blushed a little. “I like the view. Maybe you should invest in those things Kanaya calls crop tops.” He smirked as Dave swallowed visibly and then let out a laugh. 

“W-what? What’s so funny?” Dave said as he tried to pull down the shirt over his exposed area.

“You are _so_ easy to fluster sometimes. _Humans_ ” He said with a roll of the eyes and a smirk. 

“You’re an asshole sometimes. Oh and here,” He threw the bottle of sunscreen towards Karkat, “If you’re going to keep walking out into the sun, might as well put some of that shit on.”

“What is this white slime?” Karkat sad as he smelled the liquid and made a disgusted face

“It’s sunscreen. It’s a thing that helps against sun burns” 

“Are you kidding me? The sun in Alternia was much worse than this sun. I don’t need this.” He set it aside and walked back to the beach. He sat at the edge and looked at the waves for a moment. Suddenly, he cupped his hands, filled them with water and brought them to his lips.

‘Karkat no!” Dave ran to his side and shook his hands making the water fall out of his cupped hands, “You can’t drink the seawater, idiot! It’s salty and will make you thirsty as fuck.”

Karkat blinked at him with curious eyes. He brought his moist hand up to his face and gave his finger a lick. He ran his tongue over his lips and made a face.

“Gross. Sea water is nasty.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, you dunderhead” Dave smiles at Karkat and sits next to him, “Are you up for fishing then?” His smile grew wider when Karkat nodded.

 

______________________________________________________________________________

“This is stupid, Dave. All we have is this tiny glub beast I refuse to eat and a slow beast” Karkat pointed at a little cooler which contained a sardine and a snail. He looked at them and his face grew sad.  
They had moved their things close to a dock area where people would gather to fish. It was a small dock and a few paces back there was a public little bungalow to rest complete with bathrooms and more tables. 

“Dude the sardine is fine to eat, I don’t understand why you keep on refusing to eat the little fucker.” Dave was currently trying to pull something out of the ocean. After a few tries it turned out to be seaweed. 

“Dave no, look at her. We can’t just eat her. She needs to go back home with her family.” He looked up at Dave with big eyes.

“Ugh fuck fine! It was a mistake letting you watch Finding Nemo,” Dave took the cooler filled with water and threw the fish out along with the tiny snail, “ There, are ya happy?”

Karkat smiled at him and stood on his toes to give him a small kiss.

“So now what are we going to eat? Sand and a side order of shells? Good job, Dave. Best Date ever.” Karkat gave him a taunting grin and blinked at him with curious eyes.

“Yeah no. I thought something lame like this would happen so I came prepared. Get ready to eat fish the human way.” Dave pulled on Karkat’s wrist and took them towards the bungalow. He held the rods under one arm so he wouldn’t forget them and owe Jake some material.  
When the arrived, Dave set the rods aside and rummaged through their things till he found a second cooler. He opened it and popped out some sushi rolls. “Ta-da. Sushi”

“Zu-chi?” Karkat looked at it like if the rolls were going to move and attack him at any moment. Dave looked at him and let out a laugh which made the troll frown.

“It’s _sushi_ and you can stop looking at it like it’s going to eat your face off. This is dead fish, uh… Sort of.”

“Sort of? What do you mean? Dave I don’t want to have to kill my food again. I told you, that’s a job for a lu-”

“No fighting food, at all. I said sort of because, well, sushi is normally raw fish.” He gave the troll a sheepish smile. Karkat’s eyes widened and Dave guessed he was about to get a rant on eating raw fish and uncooked meals when Karkat took a roll and popped it into his mouth. 

“Mmm… Hmm!” Karkat smiled and in minutes he had gulfed down the tray with the ten rolls.  
“Great job, Karkat. You ate all the fish.”

 

“Whaf? You mean therfs no morf?” He said while he tried to talk around his food. His cheeks were puffed up like a chipmunk. He looked very silly and Dave smiled at the sight.

“Just kidding, Kat. Of course there is”

“Great. Give them to me all. I want them _all_ Dave.”

 

After eating the boys decided to go back to the beach and swim a little while. Karkat decided to take his shirt off since he didn’t have another to wear and he didn’t want to walk around soaking wet.  
Dave suggested staying till sunset and told Karkat the sunset at the beach was something he might like. The troll was curious so he agreed to stay. Around five, Karkat fell asleep on a bunch and Dave took the opportunity to gather up their things. When he noticed the sun setting he nudged the troll to wake him up. 

“Karkat, wake up. The sun is setting! Come on dude, look over their” He pointed in direction of the sun as the troll got up and rubbed his eyes, “Kat come on you’re going to miss it”

“I don’t understand what the big deal is, we’ve seen the sun set a million times from the roof of our- Oh” Karkat gaped as he saw the colors of the sun reflected over the ocean. He felt… Amazed. It was something he had never seen in his life. The orange and pinks mixed so well together and the blue of the ocean shimmered with flecks of silver. 

“So, what do you think?” Dave asked him 

“I think this is the best date ever” He blushed and kissed Dave on the cheek making him blush as well. Dave smiled and set his head on Karkat’s shoulder only for the troll to let out a squeak of pain.

“What’s wrong?” Dave asked him with concern.

“My shoulders feel like they’re on fire! What’s wrong with me?” He poked at his arms and flinched, “My body is reacting to the sand, Dave. Oh my god what do I do? Does this happen to humans? I’m probably going to die- Why the fuck are you laughing at me?! Help me out!” He glared at Dave who was now laughing hysterically, his head thrown back and hugging his sides.

“Y-you’re such an idiot. Ha, hahaha! I told you to put on sunscreen hahaha! You look like a shrimp oh my god!” Dave tried to calm himself and after a while of him almost rolling on the floor with laughter and Karkat frowning at him he composed himself, “You have a _sunburn_. You should have used the lotion, man”

“I hate this date.”

“Sure you do baby.” Dave smiled and carefully placed his arms around his waist. He kissed his forehead and smiled at him, “I’ll give you a soothing massage when we get back home. Will it make you like this date again?”

“No.” He said. But it did. It was the best date Karkat had ever had. Till the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I made a reference to SBHJ with the title. No, I am not sorry.
> 
> Opinions, comments or anything really is accepted. I will fix major errors in the morning!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys like this. I'm working real hard on the other chapters for the other fic. This is just a treat for you guys. I'll upload the next chapter on friday (:
> 
>  **Mine beasts*** : Seagulls. The name is from finding nemo. I thought it would be funny. Sorry.


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